When younger I was on an upward route

I crashed through levels after level

School, college, university, work

I soared high, moving upwards

Face to the sky of all potentials

No stopping

I thought I would make more money

Have more love

More adventures

More of more

Occasionally coasting, but still moving

I learnt to soar, using my confidence to enjoy my vantage point

I dipped into the abyss

I dropped below, the air silent

I looked down into the past

The sun no longer on my face

I strained to see what was below me

Clouds of course

Falling is scary at first, until you realise you can float

The first ceiling was painful

The glass shattered as I hit it

The pain was shocking, unexpected and long lasting

Life has changed, I thought as I checked my limbs

--

--

You scare me, yes you do

You make me feel so blue

I’m just not good for you

I get nervous inside, I feel so sick and like I’ve cried

Want you, all of you

Need you, make it true

Touch you, watch me move

Feel you, I want it too

I doubt me, so I do

I don’t need this from you

My life is clear, and true

Release me, I’m through with you

Don’t want to be doubting my side

--

--

Photo by Matt Howard on Unsplash

Come inside, you have my permission
Invade my personal space
Be inside my world
Cause me pain
Consenual is the aim

Prepare yourself
Count down from five
It’s ok, I feel it but
It’s all ok
It’s just too much

Invade me
Feel the pain
Take a part of me away
Never to rejoin again

Contained being
Hidden insides
Not to be touched
Kept in the dark
Quiet and dark

--

--

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Unsplash

You left nothing for me
Not your smile, your smell or taste
No words hang in the air
Wrap it up and take it with you

I plead and cry, silently
Balled up and twisted
Easy to swim down
Than to reach skyward

You linger at the door
Pained and derailed
Eyes in hope of forgiveness
Needing some understanding
I cry and plead
Help me

Stay or leave
If you stay, give me everything
If you leave, leave little behind

--

--